FWIW -and realizing it's dangerous to generalize from one's own experience- while it's great to understand that marriage is a process and not an event, and that there's a lot of little white lies being told along the way to lubricate the gears, one does have to agree with one's partner on the basics or it's a losing battle. For somebody to decide after child #2 shows up "Oh, I didn't want any kids" is way too late and hideously immature besides. People like that deserve to be taken to the cleaners, and then some.