"There's marriage, and there's everything else." Thus spake Cobb, and as I watch the fallout from the detonation of a friend's long time relationship, I have to wonder why more people don't get this and act accordingly. Sure, promises were made and broken, but this is why marriage used to be so damn hard to get out of. Marriage is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. You're making a legal commitment which is going to kneecap you financially as well as emotionally if you fuck it up. That's what it's there for. The tax incentives and stuff are just society encouraging what ought to be happening naturally. Any other kind of long-term relationship that involves sex and friendship that doesn't end up in marriage is going to explode sooner or later, and there are damn few exceptions I can think of that would prove me wrong. Like only one*. I find it significant that California and some other states snuck palimony into the legal system because they were too high-class to admit they wanted to put the stamp of approval on common-law marriage, which everyone knew was for trashy Southern folk and not glittering Hollywood people. Whatever.
I feel bad for both the people involved, but at the same time a little frustrated that they couldn't see this coming a mile away. Men who act like dogs aren't going to suddenly get up on their hind legs and start wearing Armani. Women going through stress that makes them crazy who won't put some of it down shouldn't be surprised that other people get tired of their shit and start looking for fun elsewhere. You want commitment? Get a ring. Nothing else works, because nothing else can call in John Law and the Church for backup.
*Edited because
jolest is right, as usual.
I feel bad for both the people involved, but at the same time a little frustrated that they couldn't see this coming a mile away. Men who act like dogs aren't going to suddenly get up on their hind legs and start wearing Armani. Women going through stress that makes them crazy who won't put some of it down shouldn't be surprised that other people get tired of their shit and start looking for fun elsewhere. You want commitment? Get a ring. Nothing else works, because nothing else can call in John Law and the Church for backup.
*Edited because
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-17 03:52 pm (UTC)We do this a fair bit, it seems. :/
That having been said, I agree with your comment and don't really have anything to add.