flinching from the needle

[wombat_socho]

Well, that could have gone better.

I don't know why the lab or clinic didn't call me about my test results, because...well, I'd like to think that if I'd seen those results a couple of weeks ago, I would have done a few things differently over the last couple of weeks. On the other hand, since I've been showing all the dietary discipline of a crack addict of late, maybe not. Anyhow, the NP I saw this morning was sorry to hear that I was leaving for Kaiser, but did go over the test results with me. Glucosylated hemoglobin (the really important number, since it's kind of a rolling average of my blood sugar level) is 7.8 - not good, since it's well over the recommended 7.0 max, but not totally hideous either. Total cholesterol is high but not critically so; triglycerides, OTOH, are 222 when they should be maxed out at 149. So that's not good. Neither are the VLDL and LDL numbers. SGOT and SGPT are high, which indicates problems with the liver, and the microalbumin count in the urine is pretty humongous, which says the kidneys are having problems as well.

All in all, the NP thinks I should drop the Actos and start on insulin, since I'm maxed out on my glucotrol and glucophage, but she's going to leave that up to me and Kaiser. I'm not quite ready for the insulin solution, though, and I can't really give a logical reason why. It's not like I have any fear of needles. I was a blood donor for years and take my shots & blood tests without any great excitement. Going on insulin, though...that's something I'm not willing to do quite yet. Maybe if I put some serious effort into dieting and exercise after I move into my own place early next month, I can stave this off a while longer. It's worth a shot, although I'm not optimistic about my ability to keep it together long enough to take off enough weight to make a real difference. Still, I need to do something in the near future if I don't want to go on insulin, because the way things are now, my liver and kidneys are going to fail under the load I'm putting on them - sooner rather than later.

The NP was also concerned about my risk of heart failure, thus her dismay at the cholesterol. Now, I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand, I'd like to avoid a heart attack or stroke, but on the other hand, I'd rather go out that way than gradually turn into a senile turnip in my old age. I've seen family members go out both ways, and quite frankly I'd rather have a severe heart attack in my 60s than linger on into my 80s as my memory gradually fails and the brain loses clock speed by the day. So I don't know...have to talk this over with my new primary care doctor after the first of the year. Whatever happens, it's not going to happen before then.

Comments

[phoenixalpha.livejournal.com]

Please, please, don't be an idiot about this. While you seem to be rather sanguine about the idea of a heart attack in your 60s, there are some of us who are rather upset at the idea.

You absolute ass>.

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

So you're saying having me around (but senile) at 80 instead of going out while I'm still coherent 10-15 years earlier sounds good to you? WTF.
I'm not talking about suicide here, young lady*. We'll talk.


*It is, after all, a mortal sin. ;P

[materia-indigo.livejournal.com]

This is not sounding good, and I worry about you. Please read the book "Eat to Live."

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

I'll keep an eye out for it, though I doubt it'll tell me anything new.
Before you and others start panicking, please remember that anything that happens is a ways down the road. It's not like the nurse practitioner saw the tests and said "OMG call 911 and staple his stomach!" (Yeah, I probably should have emphasized that more in the OP.)

[stuckintraffik.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to tell you to change your life. You're an adult and can make your own decisions.

That said, know why you are saying no to treatment. If you can't come up with a logical reason, then it's probably not the right choice. Sometimes we have to step back and take the situation objectively.

'Sall I'm sayin'.

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're saying, and I do have reasons for not wanting to go on insulin just yet. I want to give the diet and exercise scheme another shot once I'm in my own place again and not distracted/stressed by trying to do staff work on multiple conventions, among other things. Perhaps more to the point, I think I need to have a serious discussion with my doctor about the relative merits of keeping a decaying mind in a relatively sound body versus dying around the age of 70 due to heart failure.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

Sucks about the looming insulin jump. As the daughter of a diabetic I totally understand you not wanting to take that leap. I'm sorry to hear about this and hope you'll be able to avoid it.

I also know what you mean about not wanting to linger pointlessly until you die. I plan to take up risky extreme sports in my old age. Like skydiving. ;)

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

Thanks for understanding where I'm at on the matter of the insulin.
As for the skydiving...I dunno about that. I think I can keep busy enough without that sort of thing until something besides the brain fails.