Yeah.

[wombat_socho]

I guess I was lucky. Mostly.

What has happened is that society (at least in the U.S.) has decided not to support The Promise^TM It is easier to get divorced (even over the objections of the other party in the contract) than it is to get out of a car lease.

And we wonder why men are afraid of getting married. They love their wife, are a wonderful provider, fabulous father and still find their wife has left them, taken their children and half or more of what they may have primarily earned with a note that says "I don't love you any more."

And heck, why should a man have to. With the advent of birth control, women everywhere sterilize the normal and sacred functioning of their bodies so they can make them available for the pleasure of men, risk free. And if an "accident happens", there's always Plan B, (when plan A[bstinence] always works). If plan B fails, there's always plan D & C. :P

From the comments to this post on adultery. (Via Tigerhawk)

Comments

[redmartel.livejournal.com]

But with the advantages of contraception and other alternative procreative control procedures, isn't being married to a person now...how do I say it? A more truer expression of love.

Lots of women were married in the time before because if they divorced or they had sex outside of a managamous relationship, they would be at a severe disadvantage socially. They would stay with a man because it was the best they could do.

Now, if a woman stays with a man, she does it because she wants to do it - there's no artificial restraint. Wouldn't you rather have a relationship based on the kind of honesty that that freedom brings?

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

You're assuming a woman wants honesty in the marriage relationship, and you know what they say about assumptions.

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am bitter. It's an even-numbered day in a month ending in "r".

[stuckintraffik.livejournal.com]

That it makes an ass out of you?

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

You're missing part of the aphorism. Nice try, though. ;)

[stuckintraffik.livejournal.com]

Shoot. I always love when people fill in the rest for me. It allows for the line, "No, I already covered you." Nice dodge. ;)

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

*increases dodge-fu to +2*

[kawaii-shoujo.livejournal.com]

I don't think every woman stays with a man because she wants to. Some women are afraid of being alone and would rather stay with someone they don't love anymore than be alone. Or they'll stay with a man who's abusive in the mistaken belief he's going to change.

I personally don't think "honesty" is a part of the majority of marriages.

In spite of that, I do want to get married someday. But I'd rather be single than marry the wrong person. I have a friend who's been married twice - and divorced twice. Both times, she married a man who didn't want to be a daddy. (She didn't find that out about her first husband until after they already had two children.)

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

FWIW -and realizing it's dangerous to generalize from one's own experience- while it's great to understand that marriage is a process and not an event, and that there's a lot of little white lies being told along the way to lubricate the gears, one does have to agree with one's partner on the basics or it's a losing battle. For somebody to decide after child #2 shows up "Oh, I didn't want any kids" is way too late and hideously immature besides. People like that deserve to be taken to the cleaners, and then some.

[kawaii-shoujo.livejournal.com]

In a bizarre twist of fate, her first ex-husband's second ex-wife and she became friends, even to the point that when her children were young, the second ex-wife would be her children's guardian if anything happened to her.

The second ex was a guy she'd been engaged to - and broken up with - twice before. I guess the third time wasn't the charm. . .

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

Yeah...familiarity may not always breed contempt, but it doesn't always make things better, either.

[huladavid.livejournal.com]

Seems to me that the writer is under the impression that men never initiate divorce proceedings.

[wombat-socho.livejournal.com]

In most cases her impression would be correct. I was in the distinct minority.